Gotta rock

August 01, 2008 // Link

I just can’t help rocking an air guitar with my eyes shut whenever I hear a song from Guitar Hero on the radio.

Sorry, fellow drivers on Hwy 407.

Speaking of Guitar Hero

August 01, 2008 // Link

If there’s ever a pre-Roboto Styx edition of the game, I’ll be gone for a month.

Boob tube

August 05, 2008 // Link

Thank you, hotel room TV, for reminding me why we no longer live together. You’ve made your point. May I have my IQ back now?

Better than Afleck, though

August 08, 2008 // Link

Flocks of birds are skimming low over my office window, like a scene from Pearl Harbour.

Yes, their acting is that bad.

Plug one

August 10, 2008 // Link

I spent 4 hours this morning setting up podcasting gear and a vintage Apple II computer. (Boy, that’s a long way to say “I’m single.”)

Olympics

August 10, 2008 // Link

Wish I usually watched Olympics so my boycott this year didn’t seem so lackadaisical.

Related: not boycotting milk; just forgot to shop.

Hamster ball

August 11, 2008 // Link

My nephew came to visit, bringing both a hamster in a ball and a small dog to chase it.

Sorry, Internet, no attention left for you today.

Brilliant idea

August 11, 2008 // Link

Personal hamster balls are a potential solution to America’s safety fears.

Pneumatic tube commuting? Airport security to resemble arcade claw game? This idea is all killer no filler.

Sic

August 12, 2008 // Link

Guide to U.S. spelling for Canadians: instead of “colour,” “humour” and “gymnastics routine,” substitute “color,” “humor” and “endzone celebration.”

Plug two

August 14, 2008 // Link

I just explained the difference between a hub, a switch and a router without resorting to sexual innuendo. Well, except when I gave them my ACK face.

Bell of the balls

August 20, 2008 // Link

Reviewing cellphone options with Bell. Their slogan: “Fast, Good or Cheap. Pick zero.”

Roberta’s shirta

August 25, 2008 // Link

Me: Wow, some shirt.

Her: Think it’s too much?

Me: Quite the opposite. But don’t worry, wearing actual fabric is overrated.

Her: Look, we’re going to PQ’s so I want to give out the right message.

Me: You think mass market advertising is the way to go?

Her: Whatever. I’m not a slut, I’m a meme.

Me: What’s the difference?

Her: Webcams.

Hills and chickens

August 25, 2008 // Link

I’ve realized I’m not as old as the hills, but I’m no spring chicken either. I’m somewhere between the hills and the chickens. I’m escarpment poultry.

Last words

August 26, 2008 // Link

Dying words of Dr. Alois Alzheimer: “My only regret is that I wish somebody would have named something after me.”

Label

August 26, 2008 // Link

Whenever I look at my photo ID, I kind of wish my name was Actual Size.

Morning, sunshine

August 27, 2008 // Link

It’s not the caffeine that wakes me up, it’s the Brownian motion.

Isn’t Roger a verb?

August 29, 2008 // Link

Oh Rogers, how can your on-hold music claim you’re receiving “higher than normal” call volume every single day? You so funny.

Change

August 29, 2008 // Link

I LOVE Obama, but with all his supporters holding signs that just say “change”, it kinda looks like he’s popular with homeless people.

Also:

Obama on Bristol’s pregnancy: “No relevance to [her] performance as governor, or her potential performance as a vice president.” Classy.