Someone left a huge bottle of syrup for me at work. At least, I hope it’s syrup.

It looks like I’m keeping my own urine in a bottle on my desk. At least, I hope it’s my own.

I wish I was interviewing job seekers today. I’d go all Howard Hughes on their asses, tell them to describe their work experience without using the letter U, and speak to them only through a hand puppet from under the desk. 

“Mr. Flopsy wants to know your salary expectations. No, not down there, speak directly to Mr. Flopsy! No no no, there is a ‘U’ in ‘This is ridiculous.’ DO NOT ANGER MR. FLOPSY!”